Contrary to popular belief, it is not the husbands who are the top stressors for the modern moms. It’s actually what many term as the “supermom syndrome”. From the word itself, it denotes an unrealistic expectation to accomplish everything as if you have superhuman abilities. As moms, we always want to give the best to our families but at some point, for the sake of our own mental well-being, we have to pause for a while and realize that our best intentions are good enough. We’ll discuss in this article some great ideas that could hopefully help reduce this dreaded syndrome at home.
Perfection does not exist in this world, so aiming for it is futile. Even Elon Musk does not believe in it (but he believes in progress, and we should too!). We always have that platonic idea of what is perfect and we seem to use that as a measure of our success as a mom. Our neighbors won’t really bother to check if our kitchen is clean so why make a big deal of it? Besides, spending quality time with your sick child by reading him or her a bedtime story is far more important! The kitchen can wait. Meanwhile, let the cockroach feast on the leftovers and empty dishes! What causes stress is when we put too much pressure on ourselves and not giving slack a room in our life, and this becomes an obstacle in enjoying every special moment of being a mom.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself for not being able to buy a room ticket for your daughter at the Coachella festival. That’s not the definition of being a good parent. We all know the terrible things that can possibly happen in events like this. But teens have a different perspective. What we perceive as terrifying could mean “fun” for them. You’ve been a teen yourself so you certainly know what I mean. Woodstock. Rings a bell, huh?
Make sure you pick a time of a day, about maximum 30 minutes, just enjoying your own company. Meditate, grab a good book to read, or just sit by the window looking on the other side as one neighbor of yours is about to strike another neighbor with a baseball bat. And tell your kids that you’ve asked the one with the baseball bat to come in the house if one of them will attempt to touch the doorknob by a hairline (or putting a “do not disturb“ sign is a more civil way of doing it). Kidding aside, you need to develop your inner, spiritual resources in order to feel a richer and a more fulfilled life. If the pitcher is empty, how can you fill the glasses?
Nothing is more important than family. We do what we do because of our family. Our families are the sole reason why we get up in the morning. Kissing those baby armpits with affection helps reduce stress and could remind you what’s essential in life and should keep everything in perspective. Always make sure to find time for yourself together with the kids. Doing the chores together and horse playing should strengthen the bond even more! Teach your kids how to cook, play monopoly together in the evening so they will learn that time is more important than money, and my personal favorite: reading bedtime stories to little ones who can’t understand yet what I’m reading them!
Forget about everything once you’re at home. Laugh with the kids, share to your kids how such a menace you are when you were at their age. Just be with them and being present with them is more than enough.
Finally, don’t sacrifice your being you in front of your kids for fear of not being accepted. Show them who you are. Take off that mask that you always wear when dealing with other people. I know this sounds passé but going to church with the kids is one of the best ways to show them the side of you that you’re embarrassed to show to other people for fear of being ridiculed as childish, and that is being appreciative of a world that is designed by a Creator and not just a world that accidentally puts itself together by random chance.
The fact alone that you are a mom is good enough. You are good enough!
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