Our thoughts are very powerful. Think of the collective thoughts of people who have created a season that, to some extent, celebrates a humble man who was born in a barn and taught generously and gave freely to others. But instead of us abiding by his call for love, simplicity, and inner accord, his birthday and the holidays surrounding him have become a time we place high expectations on others and ourselves.
Every so often, the thoughts of “the holidays” create a feeling of dimness, nervousness, and personal stress.
It’s obvious that we should rethink how we can have a meaningful end-of-year holiday that does not burden our budgets or our coping capabilities. For instance, the goal of creating something momentous with your family or friends in the holiday period can start anytime.
If you care about someone, during the year, you might see something that’s “perfect” for them. Sharing the adventure you had while getting the gift enriches the value. It shows how thoughtful you are instead of how much you have.
Think of valuable service, beyond the idea of giving you can provide to someone you love. This means giving yourself time and energy on a level completely different from fighting in a crowded store. Caring for pet, house-sitting, food or drug pick up, searching for information online, and sitting with anyone in need of a companion, helping to plan a trip — all of these things are needed in one way or another by a lot of people you know. A crafty, homemade “gift certificate” can detail your exact objective to help.
The new science of energy psychology also offers self-care tools that can help us transform our beliefs and enable us to approach others with simple gestures. Here are a few suggestions you can use to get started:
- Take some time to think of the people you want to reach out to. Think of what the person most enjoys — something to touch, visual beauty, a smell or taste, music. Be creative in dealing with their interests or desires, which can be very similar to yours.
- Be open to accept help for yourself. Think of what brings you joy or increases your gratitude for life. Make your yearnings and interests known, so your family knows what to give back. For example, if you enjoy cooking but don’t like shopping, ask someone to get the ingredient you need or help you clean up.
- Treat any restricting belief in the way things should be with a gentle rubbing of the heart and affirmation, “While the year is unlike the past, I sincerely and deeply accept myself and my willingness to test new styles to celebrate my life and friends.” Try to find openings to celebrate by teaming up with others.
- Set your target for any kind of holiday you desire by gently tapping on the thymus area, that is, the center of the chest, which is the main gland of the immune system. Share these targets with your family so they can support you.
- Pay attention to your inner stress level, which can manifest itself with physical symptoms like a feeling of cold, shortness of breath, intestinal cramping, or sweating. Also observe any feelings of anxiousness, worries about expenses, or results of gatherings.
- Directly deal with your anxiety by gently tapping on the meridian acupoints most associated with anxiety 10-15 times. Acupoints are located at the point the eyebrow and nose meet, under the lip, at the outer eye, at the collarbone, and the side of the hand. For each of the acupoints treated, use a reminder phrase like “let go of that anxiety.”
- Recite a positive phrase reminding you of your aim to reduce the expectations of yourself and others while reaching out in a fun, genuine way. “I decide to expect less and love more” offer such direct communication. By tapping the same acupoints, you can input the positive phrase as those listed.
Often, spontaneous times of laughing, eating, and talking are remembered more than an unusual gift or undertaking. I recently asked my mature children what they remembered most about past holidays. Like most mothers, I work really hard to get the gifts they want, prepare the right meals, beautify the house, and invite their friends. The answers I got surprised me:
“I loved the candles and the scent of balsam”;
“Washing the dishes and singing rounds”;
“Listening to the bells and songs”;
“Having warm socks and outfits”;
“Preparing a different meal together in the kitchen”;
“Telling stories to each other.”
There wasn’t any mention of designer clothes, going shopping at the mall, visits to special areas, or certain gifts though I did my very best to procure them. It was the atmosphere of care and warmth that was important and was remembered the most.
May your festivity be filled with a jamboree of your sharing, your irreplaceable presence, your reflections, and therefore your laughter!
With Gratitude and Love