The images you see online depicting the holidays are many times exaggerated. Before you know, you’re trying to follow these impractical perfections. Along with the pressures and demands added to your time, this can result in emotional overload. Keep in mind that not everything is perfect.
Now that we are in the holiday season, you may be anxious that your dysfunctional family dynamics will appear as soon as you get together. Do you think that your mother’s curiosity might scare off your daughter’s first boyfriend in years? Or that the parent of your new son-in-law will be wondering why your 35-year old son has once again moved back? Trying these realism strategies will assist you in creating a calmer holiday for you and your loved ones:
- Be aware that the fear of expectation you’re experiencing is widespread. Financial burdens associated with giving gifts and hospitality tasks can make you anxious and stressed. Accept that this is a natural reaction.
- Ensure your expectations are realistic, and don’t take everything as you see it. Some members of your family may have marital, financial, or business problems that do not involve you.
- You don’t always have to be everything for all people. If your beloved aunt and her ex-husband’s new wife don’t get on with each other, do not invite them. It’ll be a lot easier for everybody to have an open mind and an open heart.
- Put differences aside and avoid controversial issues. Sibling rivalry and unresolved family issues inevitably come to the surface. However difficult it may be, go for the higher ground and avoid misunderstandings. But agree to end the discussion later on.
- On the other hand, with a relationship that’s important to you, let-bygones-be-bygones. If you’ve suffocated your feelings in the past and then flipped out later, don’t let your emotions rankle. Admit the part you play in the conflict, privately, and deal with it.
- When there’s tension in the room, shift the focus from the exact to the abstract. For instance, converse about the value of apologizing for misconduct. Then encourage others to talk about how this kind of quality has improved their other personal relationships.
- Think of your family and what you love about them and make it known that you’re grateful they’re a part of your life. Make sure to emphasize their positive attributes and strong suit rather instead of focusing on the negatives aspects.
- Practice releasing pain and longings of childhood when your loved ones aren’t with you physically but in your memories. And understand that feelings of appreciation and forgiveness are a gift you give to yourself.
- Be a paradigm for your children. Show them an example, teach them as you care for your elderly parents, give a neighbor a helping hand, or work on a positive attitude.
- If you’re ready to pass on the baton to your children, do so. Encourage your children to preserve the old family traditions. Show your appreciation and backing while they themselves create new holiday customs.
If you’re looking after the needs of your family in this hectic season, remember to look after your own well-being. Plan ahead and accept help from others when they offer. If it fits your values, put an emphasis on giving and receiving—promote social responsibility by paying a visit to an aging uncle or volunteering at a local charity. And try to incorporate fun and laughter in everything you do. During the holidays, you may wish for your family and everyone on earth to have peace, but do not neglect the importance of your own serenity.
With Gratitude and Love
Dewvy 
